Today’s guest blogger is Jill Shulman, a College Essay Consultant at www.otherwords.us.
Hi, I’m a guest blogger and college roommate, of Katie (Co-Founder of The Licorice Project). In September of 2011, I came to visit Katie and take her to her third chemotherapy treatment. Katie suggested that I write a little bit about my observations for her blog at the time, and following the lead of my dear, undaunted, optimistic friend, I started thinking (which is always a dangerous past time for me). For those of you who don’t know me, please be forewarned that I am a humor writer, and irreverent humor is my way of coping with even the most difficult circumstances.
MY OBSERVATIONS: TEN SURPRISINGLY FABULOUS SIDE EFFECTS OF CANCER TREATMENTS
1. Everybody tells you how fantastic you look all the time. You can roll out of bed (no “bedhead”!), throw on sweats and forego the makeup, and everyone you run into at Starbucks will say, “You look wonderful.”
2. You don’t have to plan or cook a meal if you don’t want to. There was a wait list for people to bring meals to Katie and her family. A wait list! I had the pleasure of mooching two of these dinners during my visit, and let me tell you, flank steak, caesar salad, pasta and salmon from Maggianos, and homemade cookies are side effects I wouldn’t mind having on a regular basis.
3. In addition to all of the amazing meals friends and family bring you for dinner, you can buy dirt cheap, weirdly good food at the hospital.
4. You get to show off the organizational skills you have honed over the years as a mother. Katie can add to her resume, “Organized numerous medications, exercise regime, doctor’s appointments, and visitors while managing entire lives of three boys, including curriculum nights, carpools to sports practices, and homework supervision.” She can use me as a reference. I was exhausted just watching her.
5. There are multiple opportunities for accessorizing. Can we talk about Katie’s new scarf collection? I covet the silk number Katie wore to chemo. Katie told me a neighbor friend gave it to her. (Hey neighbor friend…yoo hoo…I live in Western Massachusetts if you want to send a scarf like that my way.)
6. More on breast cancer fashion. When you wear a compression “muscle” shirt, a do-rag and jeans, you look like a rock star. When Katie picked me up from the airport in this ensemble, she looked like she was on her way to play a set at a nightclub. I have also heard that you can purchase an exercise sleeve that looks like an armful of tattoos to complete the look.
7. The entire town clamors for walking dates with you. Katie, as queen bee, has had to resort to a “first come first served” policy for walk reservations so she can be that girl who is popular because she’s nice to everybody instead of the popular mean girl who gets to be prom queen because everyone was too scared of her not to vote for her. (You know you remember that girl from high school, who clearly was not Katie.)
8. For a limited time only, it’s your prerogative to play the “cancer card” when you feel the situation warrants it. Ie: “I’m having so many problems with my new phone and I really don’t want to deal with this on top of everything else I’m going through. Can you please just replace my phone?” And…it worked. They swapped out her phone with a new one.
9. The “honey do list” is taken seriously as a working document. And for those of you who don’t know, if you utilize child labor, no one will arrest you throughout the duration of your chemo treatments.
10. People who have said they were going to visit for the last decade but never came finally book plane tickets. (Granted, this is only a benefit if you actually want these people in your home!)
